I’m the shoulder you can cry on and the hand that smacks that ass
100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person
story of my life
i want them to flinch, think twice before they reach out their callous hands to bruise.
i want to be a constant reminder to men that not everything is theirs for the taking.
What are you so afraid of!?
I’m REALLY sorry but it looks like they’re about to rap battle
me kissing your man
Life lesson: If anyone is scared of you, lick them.
#okay but if legendaries are basically like gods this is like zeus coming down from mt. olympus and licking your face
if it was zeus he’d do a hell of a lot more than lick your face let’s be real
when you were going to copy off ur friend but they didnt do the homework
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”